if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
How's work?
Spinning.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize
