ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
