FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
