ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
