I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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