I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
