do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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