Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
