Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
