The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
