Four minutes until I can fart!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
