this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
