Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
