Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize