I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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