He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
