Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
