in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
