Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
