i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
