Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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