I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I met the friendliest cop last night
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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