quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
