You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Do vagina's smell?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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