just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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