That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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