Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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