I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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