you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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