i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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