i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
