Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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