evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just found puke in my bra..
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
