Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
