Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She needs sedatives and a leash
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
