You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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