playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
