What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
