'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
how does that bad decision feel?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
