So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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