He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
