he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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