Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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