I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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