So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What happened to fro yo and sex?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
