he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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