I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
