You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
