Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
