There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize