The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
