He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
