the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
