Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
