She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
