i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hippo gnu deer
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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