You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
