cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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